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20 Aug 2011

Afraid of confrontations

I have a very strange problem that is almost difficult to explain.

As soon as I am scheduled to do n speech in front of people or even if I am scheduled to go and see a client to discuss something I become afraid. Most of the times it all goes well but at times I go into a mode where my hart starts pumping really fast, I can feel my hands shivering and it is as if I loose control over my hands and I dont know what to say then. This happened to me while I was speaking in general to a college the other day that I knew for years as well and when he asked what is wrong I could luckily use the excuse that I feel really light headed and in fact that was exactly how I was feeling. In this instance my hands was shaking and for some reason I couldnt sign a letter in front of this college while he was looking at me, I was to afraid he will see how my hands are out of control.

Another time I was due to explain some work regulations in front of many colleges and it happened again, I was speechless just standing there trying to control the paper I was holding to read. I am now so afraid that this will happen every time I have to discuss anything with anyone especially people I have not met before.
I dont understand why this is happening and it must sound confusing as I deal with people everyday and I have great conversations daily, just some times when I feel I am on the spot which I know I am not, something gets triggered.

To complicate this even more I have a one man band and sing in front of many people every weekend without having any frights-I must be honest and add that I drink at least two vodkas before I climb on to stage.

When I feel so shaky after such an episode I normally feel better after I eat something and I was wondering if this could be medical related rather but this never happens at any other time!

I am 35 years of age.

Answer 402 views

01 Jan 0001

Hi Quintin,
I'm sure it feels strange, as well as unpleasant, but this sounds like a very well-reconized condition which fortunately usually responds very well indeed to the proper treatment. We'd call it Social Anxiety Disorder these days - classic symptoms of physical and psychological anxiety, in social situations, especially where you feel people might be focussing on you or evaluating you.
And of course a vicious cycle easily get set up - once you've had a nasty experience of being too nervous in front of people, you dread i happening again, come to expect it to happen, and of course that makes it more likely to happen, and so on.
Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy ( CBT ) friom a psychologist can usually clear this up surprisingly soon, perhaps with the addition of some medication otherwise also used to treat Depression, which is also helpful in reducing anxiety disorder.
After treatment, you won't even need the vodkas before performing ! They'll be optional !
Anxiety is physical and psychological, hence the shakes and the other features.
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