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19 Feb 2003

AHA Moment
Talking to a work colleague, brought about a "light-bulb" moment.
I realised that the relationship I had been through - the "why" it did not work.
And the insight I gained in a couple of minutes brought about a relief, which I
thought I would share.
I realised that although a marriage offer had been made - the sincerity and intent was lacking,
although we had had a child together - our welfare was not of paramount concern;
That is why he has left the relationship and the responsibilities of the children up to me.
This has highlighted his character traits (rather loudly) but most importantly I have realised
that this relationship was never meant to be.
This is all commen sense - instinct at the end of the day.
I've realised that had the offer been sincere I would not be where I am today - but
I have learnt a life lesson.
I do believe that we have the answers within ourselves - but we don't listen!
I've learnt actions do speak louder than words - eg when someone is sincere you will
know it in the way you are being dealt with (the same with insincerity).
Answer 364 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear P.
Pleased to hear of your productive Aha ! These are the sort of insights that often arise in counselling, which is why I recommend the process, so boringly often ! An old proverbial version of part of your insight, may lie in appplying the saying "Actions speak louder than words ", and my version, "Don't keep listening to what he says --- listen to what he does."
I've never been quite sure what was supposed to be the point of living with someone before marriage, except to provide the opportunity to see them when they are not on their best behaviour, to assess their actions and genuine motives, and to enable such insights to occur. Well done.
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