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14 Aug 2007

Am I crazy?
I was recently diagnosed as biploar, having lived my life in firm belief that I was crazy. I used to have my super highs - a goddess of some sort, to the devil himself, falling into the deepest pit of hell. I drank too much alcohol and became a totally different person, became sexually promicious and very aggressive. I lost my husband thru my this ( not ever cheating on him, but aggressive and depressed and drunk).
Does anyone have the same experience?
And also: do you get the feeling where you think you can fix life, understand everything about life, can heal people, can actually 'feel' their pain and help them - like you are a god or something?
and then on the flipside - you feel like you are the worst of the worst, deserted by god and men, worthless to the bone, just want to die, think everyone really hates you, sometimes you can almost hear the voices whispering - I've had session where I think I am talking to spirits. I also talk to myself in the mirror like I am a different person.
Does anyone ever feel like this, or am I really psycotic? Will the medicine help me???
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Lets see what other readers might add, but this is a story well familiar to me. When I was a student, it was called Manic Depressive Psychosis, and was considered an uncommon condition, now, as Bipolar, it seems to be common and much undiagnosed or misdiagnosed. It is common in the Manic episodes to feel all-powerful and capable, and though many people find this a relatively enjoyable phase of the illness, they can do much damage then, bu making grandiose decisions and actions that they later regret. I never forget a Manic guy I treated in London who had just bought the entire world supply of pig bristle ( some specific hairs from a pig, apparently used for making brushes of some sort ) just before the entire brush industry switched to using synthetic fibres. Then what does one do with warehouses filled with the leftovers from shaving pigs ?
And to your second question, remember this is a psychotic illness at times, even though it is primarily a mood disorder, and that's why it was called Manic-Depressive PSYCHOSIS. But all aspects of the illness respond to proper treatment of the disorder, especially with mood stabilizing drugs.
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