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14 Mar 2004

Am I losing it??
The bastard cheated on me when were busy trying for a baby, I dumped him not knowing that I was already pregnant. Though I suspected that I was and told him about it, I miscarried before I could even confirm with my doctor. The miscarriage happened a day after he told me that he was expectin a baby by onother woman. I blamed him for it and I just kept it to mself and never told him and to prove that he never cared he never asked me what happened. It been a year now since it happened and still cant get over the loss. I am so miserable lately that I find myself drinking and smoking which is something that I never thought I would do. Whenever Im not at work, all I do is smoke and drink.Though this does not affect me at work, I am worried because this might somehow get out of hand someday. Im always thinking about what might have been, what he would say if I told him about the miscarriage. We have broken up but I sometimes see him because he stays in my neighbourhood. Each time I see him I feel like telling him because somehow I think it can bring some closure to this. Should I just keep it to myself or I should tell him. He still wants us to get back together but I am not intrested, not after what he did to me and my unborn baby. His baby by onother woman is now almost a year but they dont have a relationship after what he calls a one nite stand. I am just so confused and dont know what to do. Though drinkinh does give me temporary happiness, I feel I cant rely on alcohol to solve my problems but I just cant stop drinking.
Answer 324 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear justine,
I suspect that what is really necessary for you to find closure in this situation, isn't going to be about what you say to him, but what you say to yourself. You really deserve to see a counsellor and work through all the issues and concerns this experience has left you with, the bitterness and anger, so you can set yourself free from him. As you ay, he has shown himself to be worthless as a partner and as a man, and there's no point in thinking about what might have been --- with a man like that whatever might have been, would not have been stable or happy.
Also, seeing a counsellor will help you to get a grip on this drinking and smoking pattern which will damage your health, and enable you to feel more relaxed and happy and able to get on with your life, without adopting these self-destructive patterns of behaviour.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
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