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10 Jan 2005

Am I opening old wounds?
I broke up with the man I love a year ago. We were friends for 4 years before we became involved. The problem was that at the time we got serious he was visiting SA after leaving because of work. Two weeks later he went back and we kept up a long distance relationship. I didn’t realize how difficult it would be as he is unreachable for weeks at a time due to his work. He asked me to visit him over Christmas last year but I couldn’t afford it and didn’t want him to pay as he has a history of friends who used him for his money. On Christmas day he met someone, which I found out about a month later when she sms’ed me asking me who I was and telling me that they were serious and in love. He is coming back to SA in about a month or so on holiday and has asked if we can get together to chat. I am not over him and am worried that if I see him again it will dump me back in the mental state of mind I was in a year ago, but would also like to know why he did what he did and why he did it in the way that he did.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Sounds like a good idea to meet with him on this next visit and talk things out. Long-distance relationships are always difficult, and often fail, through no particular fault of either partner. If you don't meet him, you'll continue to guess and wonder why this or that happened. It's not inevitable that you et plunged back into the sadness you reached after first hearing about this new relationship of his
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