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07 Dec 2005

Anger management
Hi!

O.K. Where do I begin. I have been involved with someone for 5 months who also happens to be my friend and collegue for over 2 years.

The way we got together was like a fairytale. However, over the last 2-3 months I have seen a side of him emerge that scares me. He has serious anger management issues.

It is like a typical Dr. Jeckyl / Mr. Hyde phenomenon. He is a sweet and calm puppy 60% of the time but on the other end he looses his cool very quickly and in a big way.

He suffers from BAD roadrage & gets very angry over the smallest things. On two occasions he has stopped the car in peak traffic (with me inside) and proceeded to verbally attack the other drivers (one of them was a woman) at the top of his voice. Two nights ago he verbally attacked a 60- year old shop owner and his wife and threatened to "slap the old man accross his face" for taking too long with our pizza!

The above are just small examples of how angry he is at the world.

I am a very calm and laid-back woman and don't let things bother me like it does him. He dismisses his attitude as "idealistic". I was thinking about it last night and decided to leave him.

Am I making the right choice? Above everything he is my friend and I want to help him deal with his anger because I know that deep down inside he is a great man.

He grew up in a broken home (mother drinker, father abusive) and was bullied badly at school and by his brother. Later in life, religion was forced upon him, confusing him even more.

Please help. My boss as well as other staff feel that he should seek help. Ofcourse, he refuses...What can I do to help him let go of all this hate because it is consuming him.

Your help would be greatly appreciated.

regards
friend
Answer 430 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Aspects of his background may accoun for part of this, as well as other factors such as stress ( at work or elsewhere in his life ). But he does indeed sound as though he seriously needs to see a good local shrink for a proper assessment of this symptom, and for treatment to learn how to avoid such episodes which are not merely unpleasant for him and others, but potentially dangerous, ditto.
The trouble will be that of course there is no way of helping until he recognizes that he does have a problem here, and until he seeks help and sincerely and actively works with the shrink. Apart from yourself urging him to get the help he deserves, Pop's suggestion is a good one to see if someone he respects and listens to, will make the same suggestion
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