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30 Nov 2004

Any stepmothers out there?
I have been living with my boyfriend and his two children for six months. One is 10, the other 13. I try everything to make them be comortable around me but as soon as they see their mother they come back and are completely distant and almost rude. Am I imagining this?I get so irritated that I just close up and try to ignore them. I know this not good because I would like to be a small part of their life. Their mother was with my boyfriend years ago. So it's not like she was the last women he was with and I took him from her. What can I do to grow the relationship with the children. They are girls. Her ex-husband kicked the kids out so are they afriad I will do the same because I would never. I can't do more than I already am not to make them afraid of me. My work life stresses me enough I just want to come home and be relaxed and I can't. They put me on edge.
Is ther anyone out there who is a step mother or a girlfriend living with her boyfriend's kids and trying to make sense of it?
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Step-oarenting is a difficult task at times. I have seen some books on the subject with promising totles ( havent been able to see or review them yet) --- try Kalahari.net tonight quickly, before their 20 % off all books sale ends at midnight ! I know there are a number of step-parents among our readers, as this theme has turned up several times ( check out the archives of our forum to see previous discussions of it ),
Have you talked to the girls ,about how you wonder if they feel insecure after the experience with the stepfather, and reassure them that you want to have them round, and to be a useful and happy part of their lives ?
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