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13 Mar 2004

be honest? how honest?
Hi,

I went out with a guy about 5yrs ago and I broke up with him aft abt 2yrs. I thought I lost my independence with him and needed my space. Shortly after our break up, he left the country and about 2yrs ago we started communicating via
e-mail. Is is wrong of me to go out and flirt with other men and even have sexual relations with some? He has written to me that he still loves me and looks forward to seeing me again.
And, I love him too,but still have my needs. I feel guily but can't stop having fun when I go out. Should I tell him when we are together of what I did when we were apart? Pls help?
Answer 343 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Nina, surely much depends on your intentions, and his. If you have no intention of resuming a sincere and long-term relationship with him, then you ought to let him know that rather than to get his hopes up, and carry on with the lifestyle you choose. If it is on the cards that you are going to get back together, then some of the flings you have flung recently, may become really inconvenient to you.
Maybe you're fond of him, but people who actually LOVE each other ( the word's too easy to use for too many meanings ) dont want to flirt with other partners and sleep with others. That's not love. And there are many other ways in which to have fun.
As to what you tell him, this depends on whether you plan to get back together seriously, and on a proper exchange of information in a discussion between two adults.
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