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06 Jun 2011

BIG STEP
I''m engaged and plans to get married end October. My fiancee stay in another town about 200 km from here. He visits me every weekend and most times also come through on Wednesdays to see me. I''ve got a good job and he hasn''t put any pressure on me to give up my job and move to him after we got married. I have now decided to give up my job and move to him after the marriage, as our company are in the process of being bought by another company. We miss each other a lot when we''re not together. I am 52 and he is 55. I will look for a job there, which will possibly result in a drop in salary. I know I can''t start over at my age if things don''t wotk out. What do I need to put in place to protect myself if things don''t work out? I know it''s a big step but we do love each other and get along very well. Thanks
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Obviously you will want to be sure of what will happen if and when your company is bought out by the other, and not to resign or declare your intention of resigning, too soon - its possible they might down-size and offer redundancy payments much better than you'd get by simply resigning.
It makes sense to me that, as a more experienced older person, you'd want to think thouh what mnight happen if the marriage didn't work out - these things hapen, and one doesn't want to be caught totally unawares.
It does sound as though yo need far more discussion between you, if, for instance, you don't know where you will both live after the wedding, and whether indeed he might be thinking of moing to where you stay - maybe the job market or situation is different for him or for you.

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