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19 Jul 2011

Bisexuality
I have to say, while reading post 687 I could really identify with the writer, to such an extent that, it felt like his words could have so easily been my own. I am one year younger than him (28) and have been haunted, or intrigued, by the same issues. Like him, I also find the odd sexual (but no penetration) encounter with other guys exiting, but am not interested in having an emotional relationship with one. I am not gay. I long for a relationship with a girl and I''d like to have kids, but at the same time, I have this physical attraction to guys that would just never go away. At first I only liked girls, even had a girlfriend. But at the age of 14 I started noticing that I would become aroused thinking of cute boys at my school and seeing them naked in gym class. I now think of myself as being bisexual. It is funny how we always find the need to label ourselves in some way, so keen to know where we fit in. I clearly remember the day I first found out about the term bisexuality. I was so excited, finally, after all these years of being totally confused, I knew where I belonged. I had found my label. I have now accepted my tendencies, although many people would not be so understanding about the matter. I have accepted that I am who I am, and that I cannot change it. I don''t want to either. Because one knows how such a matter could complicate a relationship, I find myself refraining from getting involved emotionally. It is an interesting subject. We can''t have our bread buttered on both sides but, at the same time, you''ll never be satisfied with an exclusively gay, or exclusively heterosexual relationship. I have a feeling that a lot of guys get married with the hope that the " problem"  would go away. It seems that it seldom does. I myself found that, during my (two) relationships with girls as a young adult, that I did forget about my man to man fantasies, for a while at least. As soon as the " new girlfriend"  buzz wore off, I found my mind wandering again. So what is a guy to do? Do we not marry? The idea of growing old alone really does not appeal to me, but at the same time a divorce later in life, and losing the kids because the wife found out you performed cunnilingus on the neighbour (or his son) is even less of an option. Like I said, it''s an interesting subject this one, one that there does not seem to be an easy answer for.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

I find I often need to remind people that sexuality isn't a black or white issue, and people are not totally heterosexual or totally homosexual. perhaps those who are around 50/50 could be called bisexual, but most of us are somewhere between the two extremes.
Marriage, as you observe, isn't a cure. especially not for something that really doesn't need curing.
He who insists on havin his bread buttered on both sides, tends to get buttery fingers.
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