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20 Jul 2005

Bonding issue?
I seem to be unable to form close attachments - I have a few longstanding friends whom I trust enough to share my feelings with, but should these same friends for instance decide to move overseas, I would not be touched emotionally by this. I've been working at the same place for 11+ years now and have a few "close" friends, but if I would resign, I would never out of own accord, contact them again.
The only people I have real bonding with, is my mother and my husband (have no children). It bothers me when I see how my husband and others seem to be able to form strong ties with others in what seems to me, in an instant - I feel I have something lacking in my make-up.
I'm 43 y.o., have been married happily for 20 years, had a happy childhood although I suffered from depression. The only really bad things that happened to me was my father who died when I was 2 years old and being sexually molested over a very short period when I was 8 y.o. Being solitary from time to time is absolutely mandatory for my emotional well-being - even as 3y.o. I remember actively seeking to be on my own every now & then.

Any idea why I'm like this (especially unable to bond) and can I do anything to form strong bonds with others?
Answer 438 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

It would take much deeper exploration to understand why you may find it difficult to form closer or more friendships, and counselling would be the right setting within which to undertake that task, and to find a way of changing your habits in a way that might make you happier.
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