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15 Mar 2004

Borderline Personality disorder
I would like to hear from people who have had experiences with people suffering from BPD...A number of years ago I was involved with an amazing and stunning woman who suffered from BPD...well after a number of horific incidences I ended the relationship for the sake of my own health...the stress and emotional strain were effecting me badly.
I recently came into contact with this woman again and have interacted with her socially a few times. We discussed her illness and she told me in detail how she has been going to a therapist for a number of years and has managed to get over her BPD and understands the early traumas that created the BPD responses within her. She is highly intelligent and wants to get back together...? My question is, can people actually recover from severe BPD?
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear Eggshell,
Interesting to hear you mention BPD, I diagnosis which is not much used in SA and Britain, though a popular diagnosis in the Americas. Certainly I found that the concept described well a number of people I'd met who were usually everyone's nightmare patients, repeadly alarming and painful to know, and seemingly impossible to handle. And the concept helped to find better ways to udnerstand and work with them. Whether someone can fully recover from severe BPD, is still a controversial issue. Some, relatively few, therapists who take them on specially, would say Yes ; most others, who try to avoid the stress of dealing with them, would doubt it.
You could try some further social meetings with her, to test the water. As you know from experience, though, they can fairly readily become like Glen Close in Basic Instinct ( was that the movie I'm thinking of ? ) when they feel that the person they're focussing on is likely to abandon them ( and they VERY easily manage to feel abandoned, even within a normal relationship ) as well as very readily switching between considering you absolutely marvellous and adorable, and treating you as dreadful and dangerous. I can't think of any easy way to be sure of the extent of her possible recovery, other than exploring the situation, and getting to know her again very gently and cautiously, if you want to go that route at all.
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