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10 Aug 2011

Boyfriend and Son
I have been a single mom for the past 5 years and leaving with only my 13 year old son. He is mommy’ ’ s boy I have now met this man and we have been dating for 6 months now. We spend 90% of the time together either his place or my place. They click well with my son and they play together. The problem is whenever they play my child will forever go MOMMY YOU SEE P IS POINTING THIS AT ME YOU SEE P IS DOING THIS TO ME P THIS P THAT same goes to my boyfriend they always do that even when they play cards. THE OTHER ONE WILL SAY MOM YOU SEE P IS CHEATING AND P WILL SAY LOVE YOU SEE S IS CHEATING that’ s how they play. Young as he is my son sometimes will cry during their play and when I take it serious and confront P he will tell me this : DON’ T BE LIKE THIS LOVE WE ARE JUST PLAYING and sometimes he feels offended by my action if I don’ t say anything my son will say : MOM ARE YOU NOW TAKING SIDES YOU SAID I SHOULD BE OPEN TO YOU AND TELL YOU ANYTHING THAT BOTHERS ME AND IF I TALK YOU DON’ T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.
Please help I don’ t know how to handle this there are days where I feel like saying please stop playing together.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Sounds rather as though they are setting up situations to challenge you to take sides, to choose between them ?
I like Caro's point - if this is just a sort of game between them which both enjoy and which does no harm, why does it upset you so much ? If there is more to it, then one needs to decide what to do about it. Talk calmly with your son, saying you notice this, and to you it just seems irritating - what does it mean for him ? Does he find it pleasant or disturbing ? If he dries sometimes, he might be finding it distressing, and you will want to understand this.

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