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24 Nov 2005

Can I do it?
What pushes a person over the edge? What makes them go from normal to bad? I have this feeling some days when I wake that I want to kill someone. I will go on to the internet and search for poisons and bombs and I'll plan my ataack on society. Right now I am in a perfect position to kill. I meet men on a dating site. Most of them are married, uncut or just crazy. If I want it bad enough, I can do it. Is it perhaps the change of medication? I have Bipolar, and my Seroquel have been changed to Geodon. I also take Camcolit, Topamax and Cilift. I just feel so crazy somedays. I sometimes get into the car and drive like a maniac on the N1. It's very therapeutic for me. Will I kill someday? I practically killed my dog when 15 by stranguling her. I think I can, and after the first time, it wil either be smooth sailing, or a mental break down.
Answer 414 views

01 Jan 0001

It does sound as though you have become rather disturbed lately. Have you been entering a manic phase of your bipolar illness ? Try to remember that on's judgement is impaired by this illness, especially in a manic phase. It sounds as though the new medication is not suiting you at all, and I think you need to URGENTLY call your psychiatrist / prescribing doc, and tell him that things are rapidly getting out of control on this new medication, and that he needs to see you Urgently to re-assess the situation and revise the treatment.
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