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20 Feb 2009

Can kids choose
- Can kids choose with who they would like to stay and from what age
- Could the the one kids life with the one parent and the other one with the other parent
- Can parents have joint custody of the kids
Answer 428 views
Divorce support expert
Divorce support expert

01 Jan 0001

Hi Jack,

joint custody is definitely a solution when parents have both very active parts in the children's life and equal interest in raising them.
It is always advisable that parents learn to accept a pro active co-parenting relationship with the children's best interest at heart.
It has been noted that it's not a divorce which damages children, but the conflicted relationship between their parents.

One would have to think carefully about separating siblings. The separation between parents should have nothing to do with the children. Children's wellbeing should always be put first and how would separating siblings serve them?

There has been also much debate about allowing children to choose who they want to be with. In my opinion, and unless there is a history of abuse with one or the other parent, children do not want to choose and should have the right to have a relationship with and love both parents.
Always make sure that whatever conflict is at hand does not become the child's conflict. if the parents can be maturely responsible for the happiness and best interest of their children, a child will live well with any arrangements decided bearing in mind that the arrangement is made with the child's best interest in mind.

All the best
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