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05 Dec 2005

Cheating
I found out last week that my fiance has been having an affair for 3 months. He lives in the Northern province and I'm in Jhb and we have been together for 3 years. We see each other every weekend. We have barely been engaged for a month. He was due to pay Lobola in December. I phoned the "other" woman and she confessed and told me that he had told her that he was single. She went on to say they only slept once and thank God used a condom. (She says he could't perform) I asked him about this and he denied sleeping with her. He said they were just friends. I believe it in my heart that he did sleep with him as she told me two distinctive things about him that only a person that slept with him would know. She has since dumped him and I also dumped him. I am now lost as to what do I tell my family and friends and how do I go on. Do I forgive and forget?????
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Sorry to hear of this, Mariah. I wonder whether his inability to perform on this occasion may indicate that he did have a guilty conscience about what he was doing ? Generally, an honest man may indeed have woman friends who are "just friends" --- but then he would be happy to intriduce them to his fiancee, knowing that there is nothing to hide. SO you both dumped him, for having been unfaithful and lying about it --- that's fair. Can' you just tll your family what actually happened ? In time you will get through this and "forget" the pain associated with it --- but never forget that it happened and can happen. be cautious in future but not too cautious. it doesn't sound as though you have lost much, in losing this guy --- there'll surely be someone far better for you to meet in time.
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