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03 Aug 2007

Cheating accusations
I was with my ex boyfriend for almost 6 years. Throughout the relationship he's accused me of cheating. When we haven't seen each other for several days of weeks and have sex, he'd withdraw & would be convinced the white discharge is another man's sperm. On other occasions, one of which led to the recent break-up, he'll say my vagina feels wider so i must have been cheating. Our relationship's been on-off forever. We have a few months old baby.
The break-up seems final (we've had the ugliest break-ups yet ended up together again) cos his ex-wife (i'm not sure if the divorce was ever finalised) is around so i think they might patch things up. It's been only a few days. Ours was a very unhealthy relationship mostly and I find myself missing him and wishing he still wants us to work things out.
I've known him for so long and i know it's only natural to miss him, but he's been horrible to it and he may not even know it b'cos he's so convinced i've cheated.
Help me.
Answer 388 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Someone who is always assuming that their partner is cheating, is generally someone with very low self-esteem. And the sort of examples you quote sound like way beyonf the usual, pathological jealousy. Those complaints were of course ridiculous and insulting to you. If either of you thinks of getting back together, you must insist on him joining you in marriage counselling BEFORE agreeing to get back together, because unless he works sincerely towards handling his excessive jealousy properly, the relationship can never remain happy.
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