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Question

14 Jan 2005

clue less - urgent
my boyfriend of 6 yrs and i have a 2 year old, ever since the birth of my daughter (2002), i have been having mixed feelings about him, i suffered post natal deppression for about six months, in which i did not want to do anything with him, sex was taboo to our relationship as i was scared to fall pregnat again. It took me almost a year to be intimate with him again, and till now i just cant stand him.

He's unemployed, so i provide for the baby, i get no support system from his family, they dont even care, i was admitted for 3 weeks in hospital (October 2004) due to severe depression and to date still doing therapy ( which helps a lot sometimes).

What caused the Depperssion:
- I support the child alone, no help, even when he gets temps he wont give a cent
- he controls my life, always wanting to know my whereabouts and even accusing me of cheating
- he cheats on me, done that twice already and admitting to it with no shame
-takes my money to do his things, without even asking
- abusing me emotionally, saying i'm a useless mother,and lazy

I decided to find someone else as i was not happy with him anymore. This new guy is completely different from him, he makes me feel wanted and special, i lied to my fathers child, and went on holidays with this new guy for the whole of the festive season, he does everything for me, he has his mistakes as he;s human, I realised that i love him and planning on leaving my chils father.

Is this normal, i really need advise, i think about this new guy all the time and we have been seeing each othe for 6 months,
Sorry for a long posting!
Advise please

Pur
Answer 406 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Depression often arises without any clear "cause" --- o with a dozen, any one of which might have been sufficient.
This loser needs to learn the meaning of the old saying "She who pays the piper calls the tune" --- while he lays around expecting you to pay for everything, he has no right to try to control your life or be nost about what you're doing. Maybe he's scared that you'll be thinking of leaving him. Why would you want to stay with a guy who lies, cheats, is emotionally abusive, and expects you to pay everything ? Why hesitate to leave him ? And especially as you seem to have found a civilized man who actually sounds like he loves and respects you ?
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