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Question

30 Jul 2005

confrontation
how do u confront your partner about sumthing that is really bugging u - ie the way they treat u etc.. without starting an argument and letting your partner make u feel like u the one doing wrong - when u are clearly trying to be the best girlfriend ever? This keeps happening when i try and raise issues.. its lead me to not say anything anymore for fear of arguing... Help me please
I need to chat to my partner 2nite or i will burst - i ujust don't want a screaming match.. ythough van u call it that when only one person is doing the screaming
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Well, nobody finds this task easy. Some things that can help is to be specific, talk about how you felt more than what he did, and not to over-generalize. In other words, calmly, and when there's time to talk, one might say --- "You probably don't intend tomake me feel bad, but this morning, when you did X, I really felt stupid and embarrassed." This works better than saying " You always put me down, as if you're so high and mighty !"
One can ask for help, eg "There are several situations in which I feel really bad, and I wonder if you could help me to avoid them, or to feel better about them ?"
Let us know how it goes
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