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Question

04 Mar 2003

Confused
Hi
About a month ago my girlfriend broke up with me after 1.5 years. We had a good relationship but a situation got me to creep intop my own shell and i was a bit slack in showing emotion towards her. Shortly after we broke up my situation got better and I could show emotions again and do things with her that a guy is suposed to do, so I tried getting her back with letters and poems and promising it would be different, she would in turn one day say no and the next say yes she is thinking of coming back. She even had her best friend work as liason between me and her. Anyway this went on for a month and then her mother phoned me and told me she has someone else now and so on and so forth. Now the funny thing is I still love her and do want her back. I dont eat I cant sleep i keep thinking about her and its driving me mad. I get depressed every now and then when I hear a song or see a tv programme, anything that reminds me of her. My stomach jumps when my phone rings thinking it might be her etc. I am just tired of feeling like this, and i have done all i can to win her back so its obvious she is not coming back, but I still cant and dont want to stop trying, i keep thinking she will come back. What do i do? How do I cope with this. i have lost 6kgs in 1 month of not eating. My health is going backwards and all this because of a woman. Please help
Answer 497 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear singleagain,
As you'll notice if you read our Forum regularly, and check out our Archive, this is one of the commonest problems we hear about --- not only the sadness and pain of separating from someone you loved, but the extreme difficulty some people have in letting go of a relatonship that is over.
art of it is perhaps Denial, a reluctance to face the fact that it is over ; and a fear that if you acknowledged that it is over, this would somehow guarantee that the afair is finally finished ; but that so long as you continue to agonize over it, maybe things might work out. Actually, it doesn't work that way. It's over when it's over, and then agonizing about it is pure pain without any of the useful functions pain may have at other times.
Just as the commonest problem investors have financially, is their failure to sell shares that once seemed like a great idea but now turn out to be worth very little ; so it is in emotional investments --- people are too reluctant to admit that they made a bad investiment, however good the intentions may have been, and to sell out and re-invest their love and energies in a relationship with genuine prospects.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
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