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30 Jul 2005

my problem is that i am confused to whether what i am experiancing is normal or whether i may have bpd. when someone suggested that i may have it I looked up the symptons and it all seems to fit....
There are times when i need to be alone and when I cant be I get angry unnessecarily. I cant sleep easily.I am so confused. there are so many things i am happy about and things thati am grateful for and even writing this is making me feel guilty because despite all this i feel annoyed and depressed. i hate so many things in society and yet love others. ifeel so hypocritical but even wen i am really happy i am still thinking about how evil our world is i get stressed about everything from annerexia and terrorism to fashion and war. then i see a skirt that i like and i hate myself for being just another person brainwashed into the hidden rules and regulations that everyone follows without noticing. its like there r too ppl in my hed,1 a 'normal' teenager the other a paranoid wreck that questions everything the first poerson says or does. like a coinstant battle in my hed. i dont no which one is the one that i feel its almost as if neither of them are part of wot im thinking like to random ppl in my room arguing. and yet they arent they r me and the more i agree with the second person the more i hate everything and the more i hate everything the more i hate myself. the constant battle within in me leads to me being short tempered, having sleeping difficulties and although i dont slash my wrists i think i am self harming as i tear the skin from the side of my thumb. the pain seems to take my mind off the arguements in my headbut this whole situation is scaring me its like its beyond my control. Please help. Is this BPD or not. Whichever it is how can I stop it?
Answer 358 views
Teen expert
teen expert

01 Jan 0001

It sounds as if you would benefit from seeing a counsellor, psychologist or psychiatrist to discuss these issues. I certainly don't recommend people reading a list of symptoms and then deciding they have something - there is a lot more to diagnostics than that!

Many of the confusions you speak of are things that many teens wrestle with - a sense of not knowing yet who they feel they are, yet at other times feeling very certain. You need to give yourself time to develop and grow and to not be so critical of yourself. It is okay to have fun and it is equally ok to worry about society and the state of the world currently.

Give yourself some space to be you, and if you find you are still struggling then please go and speak with someone who can listen and help make sense of how you feel.
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