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24 Feb 2009

Confused
I have had a really bad 3 months. First I found out that my Fiance and b/f of 6yrs has been having an affair with someone from work, which he still denies to date.Then on the 01st of Feb my father comitted suicide by hanging himself, leaving no note, so till today the family doesn' t know why. I haven' t questioned it, just feel he had his reasons. The only time i broke down was on the day and again at the funeral. I feel so confused! Is there something wrong with me, I feel no emotion concerning the incident. Friends say they are worried because it seems I' m taking it too lightly. I have days where I feel like crying, but nothing comes out.I always picture him hanging, I didn' t see him because people prevented me from doing it, I identified the body, but I just feel if I saw him hanging I would have had closure. Do I need help?
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

So sorry to hear about all this loss and sorrow. Its a pity that people, however desperate they may be when they decide to commit suicide, don't recognize the suffering they will cause to others who cared about them.
There's nothing wrong with you. A typical and common reaction to the death of a loved one, especially when sudden, unexpected and shocking, is a form of denail in which one feels very little for a time. Generally, the felings return later, perhaps after some other far lesser loss.
While its understandable that well-meaning people may try to sheild you from unpleasant aspects of a tragic event like that, as you have found, one's imagination tends to fill the void, and what one imagines may be even worse than what was actually there. Seeing a grief counsellor may indeed help --- and maybe your local hospice could recommend someone with experience in this field.
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