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29 Jun 2011

Confused
Hi Doc

I''ve been with my girlfriend for many years and we going through a rough patch for the following reason:

1. I study part-time, as i run my own business, and a girl in my class sent me a sms starting with hey babe( this girl however is like that with everyone). My gf was very upset because she called me that and because i delted that message afterwards which she read.( i del because i didn''t want to upset her)

2. i''m in sales(own business) and i call on a paticular office(one of my ttop clients, who are one of my best clients, however mostly female) and when its there brithdays i buy them cake.

My Gf says because i never told her of the two things above i''ve broken her trust, im watched like a hawke and have my cell phone checked all the time.

I Love her to bits and have never been unfaithful and never will.

im just confused would apprciate your input doc.

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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

She does indeed sound excssively insecure and jealous, in ways that can seriously damage any long-term relationship, and would probably benefit from some personal counselling to enhance her self-esteem and confidence. What you're describing is borderline paranoid. She seems to want from you a sort of male equivalent of the Burqa ( that huge, cover-all garment worn by some conservative Muslim ) - in the real world of business, does she expect you to insist on doing business only wity men ? Or to keep a list for her of all the women you meet ( who she seems to assume are uniformly predatory ) ?
As maria says, is there more, at a reasonable level, you could do to help her feel you do indeed focus on her ?
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