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19 Dec 2005

Confused-Please help!!!!
Good Day
Im a very attractive, young looking 24 year old with a big problem. I always used to like girls, now my friend is 19 and weve been good friends for 2 years now. He's totally straight, though we had a lot to drinks one night and started feeling each other, but he stopped and it never happened again and by his acts ond love for girls now I can see it was just one drunk night, Now I find him very attractive. So bad that I mastrubate about 2 times per day thinking of him. I dont find other guys attractive, maby 1 in a thousand. I will never be able to tell anyone I know and im fully aware that there can never be anything between us, but I also wont be able not to be good friends with him. Now what I thought was to consider medication that takes away lust (if it exist) but this will obviously influance my normal life with my girlfriend. I dont want to feel like this and spend most of the day thinking of a way to stop this stupid feeling I have that carried on for almost a year now. When I was younger me and my school friends did some activities with each other, but no one was gay it was only being naughty and obviously no girls with us at that age (14-15) but it stopped when we grew older and started dating girls, is this maby why I have this problem? Please help
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Gay, lesbian and bisexual expert
gay, lesbian and bisexual expert

01 Jan 0001

Hi Confused and thanks for posting here.

Things can get complicated if you develop a crush on a friend, but it seems as if your friendship has 'survived' this once-off sexual interaction. There's nothing wrong with your indulging in sexual play with your friend - and this doesn't necessarily make either of you bisexual. While such same-sex interactions are common during adolescent years, they can occur at any age. As we've often stated on this forum, all of us are located somewhere on the continuum between totally gay and totally straight. I doubt that your finding one guy attractive makes you bisexual but others may not agree.

Your concern is for your ongoing fantasies related to being intimate with your friend. If these fantasies are working for you I don't see why you should try to stop them, as long as you accept that your friend is straight and that your fantasies will remain purely that - fantasy.

There is no medication or tablet or treatment that will curb your fantasies or desire for your friend. Medication to lower your libido - sex drive - will reduce your attraction to girls as well.
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