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Question

09 Dec 2005

dad died mom hates me
Hi ,
My dad died more than 10 years ago ,when I was 16 but I now feel that I need him more than ever.and can't stop crying missing him.We didn't have the best relationtionship , he died of colon cancer and I didn't know how to handle it .There wern't anyone to talk to , my friends was supportive but they were also just teens and my mom and rest of the family had to deal with it in there own way .I could remember driving home one Friday after school with my older brother to an emty house while he was stil sick ,realising that I was going to be alone in life from now on (my mom had to stay with him in a city hospital while he got treatments)and that is how it's been.
My mom and I don't see eye to eye .I'm the youngest and she just don't like me .She's ashamed of me most of the time because I'm very shy and insecure .She used to love to brag about my academic achievments , but now she seems to only see me as someone she can control and who she can compare other woman of my age with to show me my millions of shortcomings .
And if she is not happy with that , she'll get her friends or my siblings to team up with her to point out that I'm weird or "there is something wrong with that girl"
I'm REALLY trying to get along with her , tying to be friends with her but the more I try or talk with her the more I crash into the same wall.
My boyfriend thinks I'm so screwed up because all the emotional shit I have to put up with , with my family .please help
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Sounds like a chronic grief problem which deserves to be worked on with the help of a good local counsellor / psychologist. Interestingly problems in grief seem to arise more often after troubled or difficult relationships than after ordinary relationships. The counsellor could also greatly help you with decreasing your shyness and improving your self-esteem and self-confidence, especially if he/she uses CB methods.
I agree with nel that if you are still living with your mom and she is continuing to cause problems for you, explore seriously your options for moving out. And if you have moved out already, then cut back severely in the amount of contact you have with her --- don't give her so much chance to undermine your self-regard.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
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