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27 Nov 2005

Daily thoughts #2
I had a dream. It was about this girl I work with. The first time I seen her, I gazed at her, and the look I seen in her eyes, was something I cant explain. Oh ya, she was aware of the power she had over me, from that very moment. Maybe that was what I seen in her eyes. She knows I want her. Having a dream about this girl must have meant something. I couldnt get her out of my head, the whole day I was at work. I got so worked up, I probably wouldve humuliated myself If I had seen her. Thank god I didnt. Not that I didnt wanna. I was dying to see her. The dream I had made me want her even more. Inside something keeps telling me that this girl wont go for me, and I cant have her. I dont know, because If what I feel for her is real, I have to have her. I spilled popcorn all over this one girl who wasnt bad looking, only because I saw in her eyes that she thought I wanted her. And that soon became a false reality, which is why I got so nervous and spilled popcorn all over her. If you are reading this, I just want to say that these are my thoughts for each day of my life, and I have to find someway to express myself each day. So if you are reading this, you will probably see it more often. Again, this is for me in case you were wandering, but if youre curious as to what a 17year old guy who works at a movie theatre ponders about, go ahead and come in my life. Well anyway ... god, I cant get this girl out of my head for some reason. I dreamt that she liked me, and that we did a lot of fun things together and she was referring to me as her fiance for some reason. It felt so good. I did not want to wake up. When I did finally wake up I was angry, and I felt I had to get her to like me somehow. If I couldve have stayed in that dream forever, I think I would have. Well I know when I see her tomorrow, Ill probably humuliate myself, once again. Ill try and hope, and maybe prey. I want to beg god for this girl. But sometimes I dont know whats right to do. Should I beg him for this girl, or does he have someone else in mind. If you only knew what this feeling is that I am feeling right now, I could not think about anything else today. Such emotion. I want to cry because I dont know whats going on right now. I dont know what to do. Im lost. I think I will lie down and cry myself to sleep and think about this girl. I dont know why I want to cry, but I do. Wel, l I dont care if you guys think im wierd. Im just saying what I feel, and what Im thinking, It helps me. I hope tomorrow is a miracle.
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