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19 Jul 2005

Death
Just an update: things have generally been getting better for me, although last night was a terrible night. I lay awake the whole night praying that God wouldn’t cause me to die now and that He would spare my life so that I could grow old with my husband. Very strange, but I was feeling so anxious and frightened of death and dying that I could not get myself to relax and go to sleep. And yet, barring the fact that I have just heard from my ENT specialist that I have the early onset of hearing loss (probably familial – and doesn’t really bother me), I am perfectly healthy. I have a good marriage, a good home, three beautiful pets and I live a good life. Okay, so the job isn’t so great, but I work with really amazing people. Why, do you think, do I lie in bed anxious about death and dying? Not that I am ready to die now, but somehow I don’t think that is God’s plan for my life – it is more an anxious fear that I just can’t seem to get rid of. How do I stop my obsessing about death and dying and thinking about it all the time? My husband is working on some really good business plans, and I know that the retrenchment will work out for the best. In fact, I don’t think that what I am going through has anything to do with the retrenchment at all. It just doesn’t “fit”, and yet thoughts of death and dying fill my every waking moment and even robbing me of my sleep. How do I get beyond this to focus on being healthy (mentally and emotionally), focused and balanced – and to start thinking about something else??? And my husband is so supportive and understanding, I feel quite humbled that God blessed me with him. He is so amazing. I just don’t want to be afraid of dying anymore.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Hello Skiboo,
Pleased to hear that things have been improving as a general trend, even if there can still be some most unpleasant nights en route. There can be an obsessive-compulsive aspect to such brooding over death ( or other such themes ) ; and one may at times develop compulsions, like little private rituals or superstitions, things which might make you feel safer, if you do them. These aspects often respond well to an antidepressant, perhaps more to the currently common SSRI family. And again --- I don't want to sound like a broken record in recommending CBT in such instances, but it really is the ONLY form of organized counselling well established by good research to be lastingly effective --- CBT counselling could help a lot to shrink such fears back into proportion.
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