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06 Mar 2003

Death of my soulmate
I am 27 ,have been mrried for 2 yrs, in December my husband had a car accident and was killed instantly.I am in deep pain and always angry but i don't know who should i be angry with.I guess i need help pls on how do i go on,what is it that i have to do that will take the pain away.I am still alive for the sake of our 7 yr old daughter i try to smile among friends and at home but inside i am dying.Pls help me i am attending counselling but at this stage there is no difference.thanx
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear Thandi,
I am really sorry to hear about your grief. Counselling should help, but the amount of work. of grief work, one has to do, takes time, and December is still recent. Part of the problem in a tragic accidental death is that one has so many reasons to feel furious, with, usually, no-one who obviously deserves all that anger, You might on the one hand feel furious at your husband for dying and leaving you ; and on the other hand, feel awful about feeling that way. Continue your work with the counsellor, and be sure to raise all these points with him/her. It may feel impossible now, but this period of feeling so awful, will pass. And a time will come, befoe too long, when you will be able to resume your life fully, and remember him with happiness, rather than purely with anger and grief.
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