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Question
26 Jul 2011
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delay going to the bathroom
Hi. I''m not sure if this is the right forum to post this question. I have a problem that is getting worse. I don''t know why but I try to avoid going to the toilet for as long as I can. I hate going to the toilet or bathroom as I don''t want to have to touch me (although there are times when feelings build up and I am forced to masturbate). I don''t like masturbating but it is the only way I can get rid of whatever feeelings I have. Masturbating doesnt do much for me unless I start thinking of my uncle and fantasizing about me raping him! I am grossed out as I am writing this but I need some kind of help. My uncle used to fondle me when i was about 8 or 9. He never raped me but now I have fantasies wishing he did as I feel " rejected." Why didnt he go all the way? I feel as if I am the one at fault. Are you able to say why i wait until the last minute to use the toilet? I am 40 and have never been intimate with anyone besides my uncle. Can you give any advice
Sexologist
Thank you for posting your question. This experience that you describe, when you were young, which amounts to sexual abuse has naturally deeply affected you, so much so that you are unable even to perform normal bodily functions without feeling guilty or remembering and has left you to lead a life without intimacy with another. I urge you to get professional help to work through the feelings so that you can continue living a life free from this and to be able to experience sexual intimacy. Please contact the SASHA (South African Sexual Health Association) helpline Tel -0860 100 262 for referral.
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