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23 Apr 2006

Depressed
I have recently had a baby and it was quite a shock because i had to be rushed in for an emergency c-section, i have not been able to actually bond with my baby, we dont seem to be getting along at all and just when i seem to get into the swing of things someone runs me down. My husband is the sweetest guy around but he only seems to tell me that he loves me when he wants sex or when i say that i love him first. I like to be reassured every once and a while. Today he ran me down in front of his family (mom, dad, sister, brother, etc.) and he kept on going on that i don't know what the hell that i am doing with the baby and when i tried to talk to him about it, he says that i am talking rubbish. I love going for walks on my own so that i can sort out all my issues in my head but he does not let me walk anywhere, he always claims that he will drive me but that does not help. Been thinking about if anyone would care if i was not around, does not seem that way. My mom does not even spend time with me, she only wants to see her grandchild. Am i suffering from baby blues, because i am constantly in tears? Had the baby about 12 days ago (first born)!
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Hello T,
I can imagine the degree of shock --- though a C-section may be exactly what is needed under some circumstances, it is often unexpected. Some women do describe finding it a bit harder, and slower, to bond with their baby after one, maybe through not being conscious at the time of birth. As you'll notice from many previous discussions in our forum archives, many men are just bad at verbally expressing the love they feel for you, however great it may be. And things like running you down in front of anyone, is unacceptable.
But above all your story sounds like baby blues or PND, Post-Natal Depression. Fortunately it responds very well to treatment, possibly with medication and surely with counselling.
Tango's comments are extremely realistic ( thanks, Tango !) --- check on local resources, like a support group. At this stage, any sensible woman will be feeling rather overwhelmed ; but this will settle down. And use all the support available to you, from family and friends
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