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24 Apr 2006

Depression or craziness?
Hi CS

Well its been a terrible weekend.

I have this terrible problem where money affects my life, people and their moods affect my life, work affects my life....

On Friday my husband couldnt find my Pj's so i went beserk. This led to me arguing about other stuff and i ended up crying until i threw up...i just went on crying and crying.....


On Saturday morning when he tried to talk to me about my outburst i started crying again. For ages and ages....until i started vomiting. I started praying to stop crying because i felt so pathetic and miserable.

We live with my husbands family and his mother charges us rent and for electricity. I feel she wants to overcharge us. We had to pay her about R4000 this month and we earn a pathectic salary...even when combined.

I feel like his mom is not trying to help us. I have debt coming out of my ears and it hurts me when i have to pay her first and pay my creditors short becasue we have to pay rent to family....who know we r going thru a bad time. We cant even afford groceries this month...what kind of family is this? My mom tried to look for a bigger place to rent so we could move in with her rent free...but she is also struggling financially so i cant do that to her....

My mom does our washing, cooks our food and gives us petrol money when we need it. Why is his mom so cold? It hurts me so much.

Besides mom-in-law i am always depressed. I cant seem to function anymore. I was crazy on friday and it really scared me.

What is wrong with me?. I am sick of feeling so sorry for myself. I am sick of crying. I am sick of being depressed.

On saturday i was watching a show and there was a dad saying how much he loved his son...and this made me so sad cause my dad doesnt love any of his kids. I've got terrible childhood issues and i dont know where to start.

Therapy is out because i refuse to belittle myself and cry infront of a complete stranger.

Do i just have a huge chip on my shoulder?
Answer 579 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Hello KC,
It sounds as though you have been storing up a lot o sadness and anxiety, which spilled over on these ocasions as an over-reaction to the actual provocation such as the pjs. ard from out here to say what is happening in your family, but it does sound as though his mom is expecting rather a lot of money, compared to you mom being so helpful. What does your husband think of this ? How does R 400 compare to the total rent / rates etc she pays for the home you share, and the electricity you use ? It does sound rather steep. Do think seriously of the possibility of counselling helping ; it does not involve belittling yourself, or needing to cry in front of a stranger --- it involves finding a new, benevolent and friendly person with relevant expertise, who can listen and help.
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