Ask an expert
Question

22 Feb 2013

Diary of a Mad Black Woman
I desperately need advice.

I am a 28 year old married woman (customary). Co-own two properties with my husband. Now I want to leave because my life is hell, for lack of a better word.

Short summary of my life

I had an abortion when I was 22, struggled since then to have children (had multiple miscarriages) have had enough with fertility doctors, test…  , DONE! Now my husband is openly cheating on me, abusing me physically, emotionally and mentally because I cannot have children, calls me barren and useless. He tells me he is doing me a favour by telling me he is sleeping with another woman. But he still wants to sleep with me, and sees nothing wrong with this.

I didn’  t want to be selfish because I blame myself for all of this, so I told him he can go and have a child with someone else (playing Sarah from the Bible) now everything has backfired. He talks to her in my presence and tells her he loves her, he doesn’  t sleep at home only eats, takes things from the house to give to her like TV, Bed because she doesn’  t work.

Every time I try to leave he tells me, no one will want to be with me because I am useless, its better I stay with him and tolerate his bull***t, because i put us in this mess

As a result of what has happened in my life, I have become suicidal, been admitted to hospital many times. I have run out of ways to kill myself

Long and short of it all is that now I am at peace with everything, I have accepted Gods will and have decided I want to remain alone for the rest of my life no partner no children!. He doesn’  t want to leave, I have decided to pack my things and leave without him knowing because he is using me to take care of the house he can’  t afford everything by himself and since mistress is not working, things will be tough if I leave because there will be no second income. he doesnt see my value, so i want to show him how useless i am.

My life has stopped for him. I can’  t live like this anymore. Am I being selfish for wanting to leave him because he wants kids?
Voting Booth
Have you entered our Health of the Nation survey?
Please select an option Oops! Something went wrong, please try again later.
Results
Yes
34% - 9267 votes
No
66% - 17856 votes
Vote