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28 Nov 2005

Difficult Situation
I'm sure that there a lot of men out there that have mistreated there woman and got the shock of their lives when they found out that she went to another man to be conforted and that the other guy was just too happy to be that conforting shoulder.
This is my current situation,,, I love my woman so much that I feel like dying when I think about breaking up with her and letting her be free from my physical and mental abuse that I caused her.
I want her back and want to make things work but I am scarred that as soon as she's back I will not be able to control myself and just end up hitting her again.
I know this guy was there for her and that he will probably try to replace me ...If that happens I will probably Kill him.
We have spoken about what happened and she told me the story It's just that the more questions i ask her the more I realise that she is not telling me the whole truth because she will contridict herself, do I just leave trying to get the whole truth out of her or do I persists in trying to get the truth ? The more questions i ask the more angry she gets and that means she is lying to me and she starts telling me to leave her alone and that it's better that we just leave trying to fix our problems.
I understand why she did what she did but I still cant accept it and I feel that she is still wrong for going to another man for comforting...
PLEASE GIVE ME ADVISE ON THIS AS ITS KILLING ME INSIDE.
Answer 387 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

If you love her so much, how did you become and remain abusive towards her, without seeking help before now ? A good local psychologist may well be able to help you to change yopur bad behaviour if you really genuinely want to change. Tell her that you are seeking help, but don't let her run the risk of coming back before you have begun to make serious progress in this regard.
If this other guy is being supportive and helpful to her, you have no right, as an abuser, to resent what he has been doing to help her when you woudln't and couldnt --- let alone to threaten to harm him. YOU created this situation, and YOU need to start putting it right. Stop "trying to get the truth out of her", and start reforming yourself. If you can become a decent non-abusive husband again, she may have no problem in telling you the truth, especially if she can become sure that you won't abuse her or attack her friend, if you hear any more.
How can you concentrate on the idea that it is wrong for her to seek comfort from another man, rather than on how far more wrong it was for you to be abusing her ?
If you really sincerely MEAN it when you say that you don';t deserve her, you are not acting as though you believe yourself. et proper expert help for yourself asap and work hard and sincerely to reform, and to be able to stop being abusive and playing these power games with her or anyone else
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
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