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02 Aug 2010

diplomacy
HELP I need to keep the peace..My son and fam have moved in for 2 weeks and my daughter in law has no idea of tidyness or cleanliness. Her children leave my house untidy and filthy eg. they bath and leave the bath water in the bath their face cloths on the floor the towels in every room and their clothes on the bath room floor. The children throw everything all over the place. It drives my husband mad as our children had to be clean and tidy and he can''t stand the filth. They eat and just throw their food on the floor and leave it for me to clean...I don''t want to upset anyone so how do I ask her to clean up after them.
Her mothers house is also filthy so without seeming unkind she knows no better. Even after supper everyone gets up and leaves me to clean. I didn''t the other night and they went to bed without so much as moving plates off the table!!!
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Its your house. Maybe just a calm but firm notification to your son and his wife, that while they are here, they must keep to YOUR house rules. Tellthem you're perfectly ready to do the same when you visit them, and will indeed practice leaving towels and clothes on the floor and scattered.
Throwing food on the floor is filthy behaviour, and makes one wonder what sort of upbringing your son is providing for his brood - you're not being over-fussy, he is being far too lackadaisical.
Make it clear they must share the household chores, especially cleaning up every bit of mess they create. If they find this unacceptable to their delicate tastes, they can always go back to their own grubby home
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