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16 Jul 2005

discovering myself again
Lately my fiancee has been away 3 days a week for training. In this time I felt like I have been getting to know myself again. Realizing that most of the time I have always been trying to be what he wants. Always worried about him gettin mad. Always feeling like Im not wearing the right thing or looking good enough for him. I feel like I am able to be myself and hated myself for getting to this point but trying hard to get back to feeling good about just being me. I want to be able to keep this state of mind for when he is around again all the time. I am so easly manipulated. I am a people pleaser. How can I stay in this state of mind? I loved living by myself and felt best about myself then. I really want to try to be in a relationship but still feel strong and be me. Not let is insults and demands bring me down. I am a sensitve person and he of course is the exact opposite.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Interesting observations, fossy. Sometimes a person throws themselves so intenely into a relationship, and gets so tied up in trying to become whatever they think the other operson wants, that they lose sight of who they themselves actually are, and a short separation may indeed help you to rediscover yourself. well done.
And it sounds as if your discoveries require a re-evaluation of the relationship itself. A counsellor could help you to complete this task more efficiently, and to work on how to remain your true self, in this or any other relationship, and to learn to be less easily manipulated.
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