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03 Mar 2003

Distractions
Hi,
I recently found out that my boyfriend of 2 years was emotionally involved with someone else for a few months. He says he was distracted by her, that he didn't love her, but was curios what it would be like to with someone else. Hw says he never intended to get involved, and that he always knew where he belonged, but found himself getting more and more involved with this other person. This never got physical, but that does not make it any easier on me.
I need to know if it's possible to find other sexes interesting just out of the blue. We don't have any major problem. We've been arguing a lot in teh past months because I was busy with my exams, and he was complaining about this and that, but nothing groundbreaking.
He wants us to give this another try. I'm not sure if can trust him. He is a trustworthy person under normal circumstances, so it's hard for me to get past the fact that I never once imagined this could be happening. I was aware that he was emotionally distant, but never though it could be because he aws confinding in someone else.
What does one do in such a sitiation. Give him the benefit of the doubt, or move on. The first time someone wrongs you, you're a victim. The second time, you're a volunteer. I don't want to be a volunteer, but I know he loves me.
Should we go for counseling?
I'd appreciate any words of wisdom.
Answer 425 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

KL, the answer depends basically on what else you know and feel about him. Wouldn't counselling be a good option ? I'm not completely convinced by the "I just got to know this other girl, because I was crious about what it would be like." He might be curious about what it might be like to jump off a cliff, but he'd be a fool if he jumped, just to find out.
If you've found him to be trustworthy so far, apart from this one blemish to his record, if he seems sincere, and fond of you, and you are fond of him --- why not use counseling as a chance to understand each other better ?
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