Ask an expert
Question

22 Aug 2007

Divorce of not to!?
How do one decide which why to go!? I have been married for 13-years and feels that there is nothing in my marriage. I have a loving husband and he is devoted to me and our children, but his working conditions are busy killing me. He is never at home; he leaves early in the mornings at 4:30 and will get home anything from 18:00 – 21:30. He is always on the road and therefore he cannot do anything for the household. It is my responsibility to organise everything, if the geyser breaks I must arrange for someone to fix it. I am so tired trying to be the mom/husband and wife. I do not have time for sex. If my husband and I argue about his non-involvement in the household and that his only thinking of himself, he reply is that he knows it and for as long as he stays at his work there is nothing he can do. I am still young and feel there is more to life than hoping things might change. My husband has no ambition and feels that when the time is right God will give him an opportunity for a better work and then our relationship will better. To be honest with you I am not sure if I still love him, because he is never there.
Answer 400 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

I always recommend marriage counselling before a decision to divorce --- not to that the counsellor can necessarily glue things back together, but so that you can fix what is fixable, uinderstand yourselves and each other much better, and, if you decide to part, at least to be able to do so in a more amicable way and both better able mto avoid similar problems in the future.
In your situation, you are describin a loving man who works very hard for you and the children --- but is being allowed to work too hard, to the point that it damages his relationships and his private life ( to which everyone is entitled ). His lack of ambition is troubling -- I was always taught that God helps those who help themselves, rather than those who sit around and wait for miracles.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
Voting Booth
Have you entered our Health of the Nation survey?
Please select an option Oops! Something went wrong, please try again later.
Results
Yes
34% - 9250 votes
No
66% - 17785 votes
Vote