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11 Jul 2005

do I stay


Me & my b/f have been going out for 6years now. He broke up with me 3 time already but we got back together again. I always thought that I can never live without him. I know Im far from perfect and vice versa. He always says he wants his space, wants to go out with his freinds, etc. I have become so insecure over these couple of years coz it feels like he is constantly finding away not to be with me. He says he loves me but I just dont feel it. Whenever we watch a movie and it has a naked lady in, I get upset or when he chats to another female. I dont want to feel like this anymore. For these past 3 months he has been working overtime, weekends and I seldom get to see him. I always make a effort to be with him but it seems like he is not interested. He doesnt phone me during the day, or evens just a sms. Its like he doesnt mind not being in contact with me at all. Im, I being unreasonable. I just feel like he doesnt care, I try so hard to show him how much I care about him. Please give me advise, I love him
Answer 364 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

I have a feeling that whenever the "I cannot live without him/her" feeling arises, one needs to take deep breaths and consider counselling. After a long life together, it can indeed be very hard to live without a long-loved one. But within the first decade or so, it's possibly hyperbole, or obsession. Again, as in other similar questions recently, you seem to be describing an excessive degree of attachment and clinging, an insecurity that speaks of low self-estem, and a need for counselling to sort this out so you can be a happier but more independent member of such a relationship. it could well be because of how clinging you have become, that he has been drawing back and seeming less interested. One wants a relationship with a real, independently breathing woman, not with a Siamese Twin ! ANd MOST normal men don't phone or SMS their lover during the day --- if they did, the economy would be in much worse shape than it is ! yes, you have been unreasonable, and by modifying this possessiveness in counselling, you could make the whole relationship much more wholesome and more secure.
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