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11 Nov 2006

Don't know what to do anymore...
Hey, finished writing my matric and have nothing to do.I have social phobia so waitressing is out of the question.I've been having these mood swings, I cut myself the other day and I tore my curtain off the hook and then today I had a fight with my parents and threw a tantrum then broke down in my dads' arms- that's not like me to show any emotion.Thought about Tara for bullimia but i'm not thin enough and my parents don't want me there, I 've been to riverview and westville.I 've never been so close to killing myself, if my dad didn't come in my room I would have slit my wrist, the only thing that keeps me alive is the thought of hurting my parents but today I really felt they didn't want me.I don't have any friends through my depression and home schooling.I just don't know where tto go or what to do anymore.My life revolves around food and I don't thinhk i'm ever going to get better.I'm just to messed up to ever cope with this life.Please help sorry so selfish.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Well, I've got an even btter idea for spending the holidays --- see a good local shrink, preferably a psychologist, for CBT to get rid of the Social Phobia rapidly, and then you can take yout pick of jobs. If you also have an eating disorder and you're cutting, maybe tara could be a good idea --- there's no specific weight criterion for admission, surely. Don't misinterpret your parents reactions --- I'm sure they love and want you --- they may not want an alarming girl who might do something nasty like cut herself, and who doesn't let them understand what's going on, but that's diferent. You CAN get better if you allow yourself to do so, and I don't think you have given yourself ( or those who have tried to help you ) a fair chance so far.
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