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30 Nov 2005

Dreams never ending
I went to a private boarding school in Natal. I definately did not fit in to the whole rugby player jock thing that was considered the ultimate in success at that school.

Instead I excelled in drama, music and English – three skills that have made me very successful now, but which gained me little to no respect or recognition at school, and instead got me labeled as being gay, unpopular and wierd.

(It sometimes makes me laugh how those same idiots who used to torment me at school in this way, now work for me).

Anyway, I have been struggling with a recurring dream, where I return to school in matric, but as if I have finished school and am going back to it at my current age.

So I arrive in my hostile, much older than all the boys, go into the head boys room and remove his stuff from his room, and put my stuff in.

I then lie on the bed, and usually some sort of school gathering occurs with a mixture of boys from my year, boys I have never seen and boys that I remember being years below me.

I have a constant feeling of trying to be a good prefect, and trying to be liked by the entire school.

So obviously I have some issues about my time at school – some hidden insecurities about my role at the place, and how I was treated, and how I longed to be what the school expected me to be.

But though I can acknowledge why I am having these dreams, they are still happening.

Please Doc, I need this to stop. School was a trying and painful time for me, a time that I would rather forget, and I don’t want the memories cropping up all the time.

What can I do to get over these insecurities, accept what happened and that it cannot be undone, and live happily ever after?
Answer 472 views

01 Jan 0001

Sounds like some counselling would be in order, to unravel the long-standing isues arising from the lousy school-days ( I know what that's like !) having not long back been to a major Reunion, I must agree with Frusty --- the Big Guys of those days has mostly failed pathetically in life, the bullies most of all --- and several came to speak to me, with tears in their eyes ( OK, after a couple of drinks !) to apologise for how they had scorned all the intellectual leadership of the school in their days there.
I can't offer an interpretation of Buzz's dream, but it's enough to make me regret I didn't spend more time on the rugby fields ! Dorks of the world, Unite !
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