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19 Dec 2002

Eating out
Hi Doctor

I have a problem. Whenever I go to eat out with my boyfriend, even if we share food I end up eating alot of the food. I was one of those kids that was brought upon the idea that one has to finish up all the food on the plate. My boyfriend loves eating out and I generally give into temptation. However, I try to finish all the food and this ends up making me feel very upset and depressed. He generally leaves whatever he can't eat, and he has a high metabolism. So, he tends to snack more whenever he wants to...even late in the evening. This ends up making me have cravings and i then tend to eat late at night, even though i am not supposed to.

I went on a diet 2 years ago and managed to loose the right amount of weight. I am now on a maintainence diet, however, I now tend to eat more. Generally when my boyfriend is not around I stick to my eating of fruits and one sandwich. Now I notice then I am eating bigger meals overall and when I eat I am not really satisfied with what I have eaten, especially if it is a health snack. I feel as if I am eating 'dead' food. At my work place people eat chips and burgers and russians, etc and I stick to my health sandwich that i prepare at home. But, I do not feel satisfied with what I have eaten. I know that my problem is more psychological. How do I overcome this ?

Thanx in advance
Answer 333 views

01 Jan 0001

Dear Diana
You are quite correct about this urge to eat when you see others doing so, is psychological. It could be due to your upbringing when you learnt to 'clean your plate', but I think there are other more fundamental reasons such as feeling deprived in other areas of your life or equating food with comfort or affection. If this is so, then I would suggest that you consult a clinical psychologist in the New Year, so that you can work through these feelings and the guilt that eating seems to engender in you. In the meanwhile, try and stick to your guns and don't give in to all these temptations and if you succeed give yourself some praise for being strong. I think you undervalue yourself.
Good luck
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