Ask an expert
Question

06 Jun 2011

Emotional and possibly physical affair
Hi Doc and readers,
My husband who I had been dating for 7 years was having an emotional affair with his sluttly colleague even before we got married - I discovered his Skype conversations purely by chance 4 months into our marriage - healways blows it off to be nothing, was just bored - yadayada. I forgave him after he promised to stop and removed her from his Skype. He then befriended a very lost immature male who was unhappy in his relationship and got my hubby to start going into chat rooms - I found crap that they were saying about me as well - lets say they have the mentality of 12 year olds. Im willing to give this one more shot, however I have no attraction to mu spouse any longer, we have no intimacy - I miss it but dont want to do anything with him ... can this be repaired .... and IM at the stage where I want to have kids but dont know if I should settle (with time quickly creeping up) and compromise due to this burning desire. Advise please?
Answer 416 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

If a married person gets bored, they need to look to their spouse for recreation, not to someone else, whther directly or via Skype or other media.
If he apologised and actually did stop flirting with her online, but then got into other relationhips online, there is something he is missing within the relationship, and he is looking in the wrong places for solutions. Why not see a marriage counsellor together, and look for actual solutions ?
Compromising, and moving to having kids, with such an immature guy, so lousy at genuinely solvin whatever problems he has, would not be wise.
If he won't join you in counselling, or the problems prove insoluble, do not proceed with the relationship, and definitely do not have children, as this would be so unfair to you and the kids
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.