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03 Mar 2003

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!!!!!!
Hi all, I have decided to leave my boyfriend, he broke up with me 18 times in February 2003, I begged him to take me back 18 times when we make up he promises to love me forever and then a few days later the same thing.... From hitting my head against the wall to driving around after 01:00 last night I even went to my offices and re- connecting computers that time of the Bloody morning cause I couldnt handle it. I am 25 years old and procured an executive position as company accountant and has been awarded Equity in the business, and in the same time in the process of completing another degree, I have worked so hard for this and in the same time helping my mother dealing with cancer and my dad who is unemployed with no money for retirement, my life has been a little difficult. I have lost my best friend some time ago, he hanged himself, and now feels all alone. My boyfriend is a few years younger than me and always plays with my feelings and emotions and I am now feeling worthless and I am afraid that I might lose everything that I have worked so hard for. My 26th birthday is on Wednesday and the fact that I am feeling so lonely brings me to tears when I reflect on my life...

I dont know what to do to make myself feeling better all I want to know is when will this feeling disappear and my life situation ameliarates. I know you cant have everything but I was happier when I was a waiter two and a half years ago.

How do I deal with this? please help!!!!!

I am losing my mind...
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear Cool,
From the sound of it, you have managed marvellously well in dificult circumstances, to start making a real success of your work life / career, and are on the way to still better things. OK, in the social sphere, things could be a lot better, but that's not inevitable or unchangeable. It's sad that you lost your best friend ( suicides often forget the awful impac their act is likely to have on others ) and you are probably still dealing with your grief over that, as well as the other burdens you have been facing.
But what is wrong with this guy you've been with lately ? Breaking up with you 18 times in February ( just as well it wasn't a leap year ? ) must be a record. And your asking him to come back, 18 times, as well ? It really doesn't sound as if he deserves you, and he can hardly be our last chance of a happy relationship. It sounds as if he has been abusive, emotionally and physically --- and abusers ( unless, rarely, they enthusiastically embrace serious therapy to change themselves ) do not change. You are surely much better off without him. You can be far, far, more lonely within a relationship with an abusive spouse than when actually on your own.
It sounds as if you'd be happier without him, looking after yourself and your affairs, and maybe working first towards enlarging your circle of true friends, people who can have pleasant times with, and with whom you can discus issues, without feeling pressured. Take your time to find a guy who is not abusive, and who keeps his promises about love. You're obviously worth far more than this present guy.
Don't be losing your mind --- lose the abuser, and keep your mind.
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