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02 Aug 2006

ex b/f, his new g/f and me
I am in a bit of a predicament. Please advise and not judge me. I went out with this guy for a year. From the very beginning he told me he had no money and in huge debt. I dont know whether he told me the truth or not, but the place where he was renting threw him out, so I suggested he stay with me until he came right, although he would have to pay for his expenses such as water and light, food, etc. I was not going to carry him. For the year that we lived together it was pure hell. He never had money to do anything, I always had to pay my way when we went out, he didnt make me feel special and after a while I felt I was being used. To add to it, he was having affairs while he stayed with me. We ended the relationship and after a long time, we are able to be friends today.

However, he has now got another girlfriend. He is worse off then he was with me. He is in incredible debt, they have cut all his phone lines, the sherrif of the court still has my address of where he is staying and calls there often. He cant afford rent, so he has now moved in with his new g/f (exactly the same situation as he was in with me). This girl is his life support as where would he stay without her?

Here is the big problem, we have slept together once or twice (when he was staying on his own, but dating her). He has now moved in with her and is still wanting to sleep with me and suggested we meet up and well.... He knows I am single and need that, so he is playing on that. I feel sorry for his new g/f because she is none of the wiser and is going out of her way for him (like I did). I like having him in my life as a friend just to see how he is,but I dont want to carry on this "affair" with him anylonger. What do I do?
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

For him to have expectd you to support him, while he was actively having affairs with others, was surely unreasonable. And as you have now broken it off with him for at least the second time, why is the mess he seems determined to make of his life, still a concern of yours ? And as you were hurt when he lived with you and slept with others, you're surely not even dreaming of allowing him to sleep with you while living with anothwer girl. If he'd think more of working and less about how many girls he can sleep with, maybe he wouldn't be in such a financial mess. Say NO and refuse to have anything sexual to do with this habitual user and loser.
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