Ask an expert
Question

10 Aug 2011

Ex husband''s depression
I left my ex husband a year ago due to infidelity issues. He has major problems getting his life back on track and I feel guilty for having caused this. He has threatened suicide, has been for therapy, was hospitalised, but nothing seems to help. He calls me as he says that it helps him to hear my voice. I have no inclination of ever going back to him. How can I help him to move on? I have also been for therapy and made a decision to help myself get through all of the pain, memories and regrets. I feel that I have succeeded partially, but hearing him so heartbroken on the phone puts me back into a negative space.
Answer 482 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

If he was unfaithful, didn't he cause his problems and the separation ? Why should you choose to take responsibility for his choices ? Sounds like he may be using his depression ( ir is it sadness, or self-pity ) as a tactic to try to drag you back. Moving on is his duty, and something he needs to work on with his therapist / shrink, and not your responsibility. You can't do it for him. His hope that he can lure you back may be a key factor in stopping him from doing what he needs to do, and work properly with his therapist.
yes, it's sad that he's sad - but he needs to take responsibility both for what he chose to do, and its results, and for getting himself right, rather than burdening someone else with his self-created burdens
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.