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12 Jul 2005

Failure already
Dear CS
Hope you are doing much better now.
I am 2 months pregnant. This pregnancy was planned. My husband and I are not kids anymore (36 + 42 yrs). I want to be pregnant but I am ashamed to admit to anyone that I am severely depressed now. I have been scared to admit this in case I am "punished" in some way (sounds crazy I know). I am really struggling at the moment. I think that hormones play a huge part and also the fact that I am not allowed to take any medication for the first three months. But I want to explain that I am not unhappy about being pregnant but can't seem to enjoy it, I know that it doesn't make much sense. I worry about everything that can possibly go wrong, again making it difficult to enjoy anything. I feel ashamed of being this way because this is supposed to be a joyful, exciting time and I can't seem to pull myself out of a slump. I have discussed with my Dr (shrink) who said that he will put me on safe medication after three months. I know that it's not a good idea to take anything but if I have any hope of being a good mother and getting through everything, I am going to need the help of pills and that's a pretty sad thing to admit. I was depressed before falling pregnant and have been for ages since a stomach op last year. Is there any hope for me?
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Hi Bee,
Well, you recognize that this feeling isn't reasonable or realistic ( about punishment, that is ) --- but if one is prone to Depression, it can arise during the hormonal turmoil of a pregnancy, and then one should see a good psychiatrist for assessment and a consideration of treatment, whether a carefully chosen medication, or CBT psychotherapy, or both. Generally, one finds mood variable during pregnancy, so the present gloom may well not last. Of course there is hope for you, lots and lots of it. Nothing to be ashamed of --- you didnt choose to feel this way. But, through CBT, you could be able to choose NOT to feel this way and think this way.
And with a first pregnancy, of course it's new territory, so often more worrying than when one is experienced at handling this task. As Kay says, don't try to be a superwoman -- what you are will be quite sufficient !
Keep us in the picture as things progress
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