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13 Jul 2011

Father &amp  Daughter post 743
Mother has not been travelling much, so " wrongly"  didn''t renew her passport. Father gave her the notification letter on 24/5. Letter was dated 13/4. Award ceremony 27/6. Mother is very close to me (we knew each other long before eather of us was married) Mother said there wasn''t enough time to sort out passport and viza in 1 month. Plus (why smoking is bad) she said she couldn''t handle a 12 hour flight without a cigarette. She then asked Husband whether he wanted to go receive the award on her behalf. He then said why can''t daughter go with him. She told me that Husband phone her while overseas and said he woke up and didn''t see daughter in the bed, he then found 24 y/o daughter sleeping on the floor in the bathroom (claimed she couldn''t sleep becoz of his snoring) Dancing together / pubbing and night clubing together? All these thing Mother has told me. Mother sounds like she sees nothing wrong, or is she telling me becoz she feels she should hear from someone else. Mother and I tell each other everything. Chatting / shoulder to cry on / sharing ideas etc. This is eating me up inside, and I don''t want to hurt or offend her. Can Father and daughter have such a relationship normally, or what ????? I know I have 2 daughters over 20. I have never gone pubbing or dancing and drinking with them. The wildest thing I''ve ever done alone with my daughters is going to steers or Mc Donalds.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

So father delayed the notification letter, so she would not be able to attend ? I do believe it is possible to get an emergency temporary visa within a month ; I've done it myself.
The excuse of not smoking for 12 hours being unbearable won't wash - she needs her addiction cured, and could probably have got nicotine patches to help her survive the journey !
As for the mother's reaction, maybe there's nothign wrong ( and she knows them better than you do ) ; maybe there is but she chooses to ignore or deny it.
Your choices are either to ignore this ( and it seems that you must be convinced there's something awwful going on, or it wouldn't worry you so much ) ; or to talk with her about whether she is bothered, and how she feels about it. I don't think its impossible to do so without offending or hurting her
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