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30 Mar 2007

Father-in-law from hell
My father-in-law is really what one would refer to as satan's off-spring. Once again he has caused major problems in our household because my husband has no backbone to stand up to him. He (husband) will rather fight with me, swear at me and call me names than tell his father that it is also my home and that I have just as much say as my husband. My husband allows them to come to our home at any time of the day or night - no phone call necessary to confirm whether it is convenient for us. At one stage he even gave his father a key - often I used to be busy in the house and the next minute he (f-i-l) would be standing behind me. I eventually put a stop to that after being called a bitch and treated like dirt by his family for a while! Last weekend he walked in with my husband, looked me up and down and said "more" in a very rude manner, me being who I am, answered him in the same tone of voice - needless to say, my husband has been treating me like dirt the whole week, this morning he told me to piss off! I don't know what kind of hold his father has over him, but I have had more than I can take, I have put up with this for 9 years now and not even the fact that I have a young child will prevent me from leaving him. He has never stood up for me, has always taken his family's side and I can't bear it anymore. At his niece's birthday last year, I went to to great expense to spoil the child, bought her clothes, earrings, etc. etc. Nine months later and I am still waiting for a thank-you from his brother and the wife!! His family think the world owes them big time and therefore no-one has to ever show any gratitude when something is done for them. I don't think I am being petty, I was raised to always be thankful and to appreciate what others do for me!! His family really grate my nerves and I am starting to hate them, they do not want to know anything wrong about the other and it's so pathetic!!
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Then directly and indirectly, your husband is being abusive towards you, and enabling his father to be abusive to you as well --- that is NOT acceptable. Call POWA which specializes in advising people in such situations, and weight your options. This sounds like a family from which you can expect nothing of the support and affection you have a right to expect. Don't expect anything good from them, then in the unlikely event that they happen to do something pleasant, it's a bonus, rather than feeling angry that something seems to be missing all the time. Don't expect thank-you's. But discuss the situation with POWA and consider your safest options including leaving the family with your child and protecting yourself.
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