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20 Jul 2005

Feelings that wont go away
Hi all,
let me begin by saying i fell pregnant at a very young age,i was writing my final matric exams(PS i did pass which shocked the hell out of me). i hid the pregnancy for the first 7 months from everyone as i was a bit fat before so me picking up weight wasnt really an issue. the day my mother found out she ws devistated and so was my father....there little girl messed up big time. anyways they accepted it and supported me through it but i was send away to durbs to have the baby so that nobody in the family would know. i had the baby and she was the most gorgeous little angel.when we got back i had to play hide and seek for the first month until they decided to tell the family.everyone accepted it and now cant get enough of my little angel and all love her like crazy. 3 months later we got married cos my husband said that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with us. i am now married for 3.1/2 years and my pricess is almost 4, but those hurt feelings are still there.........and what really pisses me off is when people mention it or talk about how i apparently hid it so well. i now feel like a dont want to have anymore children and yet my husband really wants to have another someday. why am i feeling this way?....i really feel serious about it where it goes to a point where i tolf him i want to go for sterilization. i am currently on the pill but am even scared of still falling preggies that i make him use a condom most of the time also..........i know he doesnt like it much but he does it because it makes me happy. is it fear of some sort?......do you think ill regret it later if i go for the sterelization?....i am only 21 and have many more years to still think of having another.why do i feel like this?
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Hello Sunshine 1,
Its nice to hear how well your parents and later the whole family, were understanding and accepting of your predicament. Why do you listen to any gossip or hurtful ( often not necessarily meant to be hurtful ) comments from ignorant other people ? Don't give them that sort of power over you. Don't think of sterlization at this stage. Think very carefully, perhaps with the help of a counsellor, over why you feel so reluctant to have a second child with the husband who loves you, and to be a companion for the first child you love so much. Im sure that if you rush into a sterilization that you will regret it, especially at such a young age. Think seriously about some counselling, to sort out all these feelings and confusions
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