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17 Mar 2003

friend wont commet
hi Doc
the problem i am sitting with for the last couple of months is the lame old situation of falling for best friend. about 2 years ago my best friend "lucy" kiss me at my place when it was her birthday. about week later we snogged again and went back ro her place, we did not have sex but fooled around quiet alot. anyway this fooling around has continued now for the past 16 months ,intially i was always physically attracted her and we get on really well. but i have fallen for badly now and i am madly in love with this girl . about 8 months ago i told her that we must either stop seeing each other or start going out as this was -|- ing with my head . she said that she is not ready for a relationship so we stopped fooloing around for about a month but going out togther and under the influnce we started our fooling around again. this is carry on still. i constintly tell her how i feel about her but she cannot seem to tell me what thinks about me. i am physcoligist but she does llike me but she is just does not seem able to tell me what she thinks. we visit each other alot and spend alot of time together during her and my free time . all or friends know that we are seeing and fooling around together and they dont mind at all. we are only intimate with each other once our freinds hav left or gone home. i do know that she is see a therpasist at the moment and she is taking strain at work cause she is a chef and works long hours. she wants to bu she doesnt want to commit if u know what i mean so my question is :HOW DO I GET HER TO OPEN TO UP TO ME AND TRUST ME CAUSE SOME WHERE SOMEBODY MADE HER LOSE TRUST IN PEOPLE !!!
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear adam,
You are a "physcoligist" ? Dear me, I must be getting old, as physcoligist's seem so young to me, these days !
It sounds as if these relationships are rather topsy turvey. You started with snogging, then proceeded to fooling around, and only then sartd to feel fond of each other and then fall in love. There's quite a lot to be said for the old-fashioned way of doing all that the oher way round.
I'm not clear about what it is that you want her to trust you ABOUT. Aren't you perhaps in a bit too much of a hury, and maybe it'd help to relax a little, and take it easy. Enjoy the process of getting to know each other a lot better in all the non-physical ways, before aiming at further physical explorations ? hat way you'd have a better basis for mutual trust, wouldn't you ?
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